We’ve come a long way since the days of Brady Ambro and Henry Hubbard drafting duel kickers. Shane saved us from a league I can’t help but think would be lower on the Power Rankings than that of the Baby Face Gang. Our core 12 was formed and off and running we were, with the only exit strategy comparable to that of a U.S Supreme Court justice….death.
When I think of the NFFL storylines over the years, many come to mind. Greg’s early dominance which he so frequently reminds us of. Nicky’s all Bronco team with Peyton Manning and the Thomas boys which was flat out the most dominant team this league has ever seen. My three, four…? Loss’ in the championship and the inability to get over the hump. The Beans recent dominance. The list can go on and on.
Perhaps the best storyline though is the villains. I find myself and Stolls to be on that list on people the league roots against. A shame for all that we do for this league. Pape mixes in every now and then due to his delusional thought process behind upside. Change your name dude. But I think we all know where this is going. There is one man and one man only that takes the crown as league Villain. And that is none other than Stephan Cetta Friedrich.
Stephan could be one of the most interesting men in the world. If those Dos Equis commercials were made today, and he was handsome, Hispanic, had a cool accent, 30 pounds lighter, and could actually say the slogan “Stay Thirsty My Friends”, some would say he would be in the running for the face of the beer. But who needs beer when you can just be an absolute juggernaut in slinging a failing beverage everywhere from Montauk to Westchester. The man has seen every 7/11 in the Metro area and could probably be adopted into an Al Qaeda subgroup, with all the friends he’s made in those stores along the way. But the only terrorism he is committing is the mental terrorism on the other members of this league.
Year in year out, we wake up from our hungover stooper on the day after the draft , look at the board, and analyze our decisions from the night before. There’s a lot of who’s team looks good, love that pick, hate that pick etc. And it seems as though every year we look at Stephan’s team and say dear god what was he thinking. And guess what guys, it usually works. It’s the same story every year, his moves are always low, he leaves a player in his flex on a Thursday night game, his PF is low and his PA lower and he seems to be slipping into those last play off spots more often than not. I’ll never forget Darius Slayton against me on MNF when Eli was still there. I don’t remember if it was a win and get in situation for me, or first round of playoffs. I think he was projected for single digits because, well, he is Darius Slayon. Well, safe to say my season ended that day to the likes of the below statline.
I’m sure there are countless instances where this had happened to other members of the league. Where you feel safe, just not needing the likes of Darius Slayton or QJ (I will not speak his name any longer) to not pop off, but only for the complete opposite to happen. We write this the morning after a Steelers Browns TNF game which was almost certain to be a crap shoot, only to turn into an entertaining shootout. DK and QJ, with a combined 40 points like we all would have predicted.
There is no other word to describe this than devil magic. We sat there on draft day as the picks came in through young hanks phone, scolding, mocking him for Jerimiah Love who was nursing a hammy. For drafting QJ again. As Hank played the draft game for the first time and finished dead last by a wide margin giving them last choice. And yet here we are. Week 4. Stephan sits atop of the league at 3-0 and a team that looks fucking good. JSN is the best receiver in Fantasy. Kyren Love and QJ are a great RB three headed monster. Tet a great complimentary piece. IF you think this team is going away, you are sadly mistaken.
So be weary, my fellow leaguemates. The night is darkest before the dawn. Yet I am afraid dawn may never come. He will continue to select his own fantasy players for the anytime parlay. He will continue to make no moves and questionable roster decisions. But they may just indeed be part of this villains plan all along.
Stay thirsty my friends. Stephan, I hope you can read this buddy. All love.
The Jerk
